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my roommate is pissing me off

clingy clingy clingy

loud loud loud

annoying annoying annoying

cliche cliche cliche

fuck fuck fuck!

i just want to get the fuck away from her…..I NEED OTHER FRIENDS. LIKE ONE. OR TWO. i’m not begging for that many……..i need some diversity because she yells at me and sasses me and makes me feel like shit and annoyed….fuck dis shit

i miss the loneliness of my own room.

having a roommate deprives me of every private activity i’ve ever had as an only child.

no more solitude and choosing which noises i want to hear at which time of day

i have to worry about others walking into my room

i thought of some ideas of stories today

and just odd concepts about the universe

i wish i had someone to discuss all these thoughts with.

i feel like i’m becoming more of my old self, the depressed version from senior year, but i like it. and that’s odd as well. i look forward to the thoughts of being alone, of being sad, of being separated from everyone else. I feel like i am succumbing to being too normal of a person because of this whole college experience.

i need to stop letting others mold me. i need to keep myself and my thoughts and my wants as a top priority.

i never thought i wanted to be alone ever again after my senior year

but now im wanting it back

this makes absolutely no sense

like can you not fucking skype while i try to do work? thats why i came to the private study room in the library….i have no idea why you came with me, you’re not doing work and you’re interrupting me. like what the fuck stop

go back to our room if you wanna do this shit

this is not okay

and you’ve done this before.

i’m getting pissed off by you

i’m never studying with you ever again because yesterday we didn’t learn shit and you took forever to make that study sheet for us you said you would take care of. it was supposed to be done days ago. and it was done at like 8 at night and then you didn’t wanna study and then you fucking stayed up til 3 studying….when we had ALL DAY LIKE 7 HOURS TO DO IT AND I KEPT SAYING COME ON FOCUS

fucking frustrating shit

you’re not gonna be responsible for me doing bad in school, lemme tell you dis

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i don’t know what i want right now

and im confused

like GIVE ME A SIGN

please

this is not okay.

this is not okay

this is not okay

this is not okay

mike.

it’s bad that i go to bed now thinking “phil, phil, phil, phil”

but he’s cute

but he’s 16…….

and i’m 18 and this is not acceptable

and i don’t really know him…

but he’s cute……..can i just like…….make out with him and thats it?

this is weird because i never feel this way about guys. i’m always like solid relationship status or nothing, but phil’s too young and naive and it would never work. ever. i’m in college and he’s in high school and he’s kind of weird but i like talking to him about government……..WHATEVER I DON’T KNOW